Today my son (my baby, my one and only child...so far) started daycare. I must say that this is one of the hardest things I've had to do so far (and I've been through a few challenges). It's a small home daycare where he's the youngest of 3 kids so it's not so bad (or at least that's what I'm telling myself so I can feel better). Besides the guilt associated with dropping my kid off with some random stranger and expecting him to cope with it ok,
I'm also having separation difficulties. I went back to work when he was around 3 months old but we've had my family and my husband's family taking care of him since then. Needless to say they've done a wonderful job and my son ate up all the love and attention. He's definitely a sweet, loveable and well-adjusted baby. Now he's almost 7 months old (next week) and today was his first time being taken care of by non-family. The caretaker seems really nice and she's experienced but I have some of the usual worries that mommies have when leaving their child with someone else. I also have some of the crazy unusual worries too. I am praying that I'll find strength to cope with this new stressor. My husband has been supportive which is helpful. It's tough for him too (I think) but of course he's coping well. At least, I haven't seen him shed any tears yet. I, on the other hand, cannot stop crying. My baby was crying when I left him this morning. It's so hard to leave my child with a stranger (or anyone) especially while he's crying. But I didn't think it would have been any better if I stayed longer. He would have just cried when he saw me walking out the door. I called her back an hour later and she said that he took a short nap then woke up fussing. What? That is so unlike my happy baby. This is so hard.
I have to keep reminding myself that I'm doing what's best for my family. Although, I would love to stay home with him that is not what is best for our family. I have a career. Hubby and I have educational debts to pay off. It's also helpful for him to be able to socialize with other kids. I think his development will sky-rocket from being with the older kids (18 month old girl and 3 year old girl).
This is a unique week for me (as far as my work schedule) but it works out great. The set up this week is great for transitioning. I'm off today so I dropped him off a little later and I will pick him up earlier so it's not the full day. I'm also off tomorrow so I'll let him stay a little longer tomorrow. Wednesday is a full day. Thursday and Friday are also shorter days for me. We'll see how it goes.
I guess I just have to love on my baby a lot more when I pick him up. Although, I don't know if that's possible because I already do that. Anyway, I think I'll go hit the gym (first time since his birth). Exercise has always been a good distraction for me. So is shopping and cleaning but I don't feel like doing either right now.
I'll update you on how his first day ended. I welcome any tips, words of encouragement, prayers :)
Mrs. K
