Monday, August 27, 2012

Having a tough time dealing with daycare

Today my son (my baby, my one and only far) started daycare.  I must say that this is one of the hardest things I've had to do so far (and I've been through a few challenges).  It's a small home daycare where he's the youngest of 3 kids so it's not so bad (or at least that's what I'm telling myself so I can feel better).  Besides the guilt associated with dropping my kid off with some random stranger and expecting him to cope with it ok, I'm also having separation difficulties.  I went back to work when he was around 3 months old but we've had my family and my husband's family taking care of him since then.  Needless to say they've done a wonderful job and my son ate up all the love and attention.  He's definitely a sweet, loveable and well-adjusted baby.  Now he's almost 7 months old (next week) and today was his first time being taken care of by non-family.  The caretaker seems really nice and she's experienced but I have some of the usual worries that mommies have when leaving their child with someone else.  I also have some of the crazy unusual worries too.  I am praying that I'll find strength to cope with this new stressor.  My husband has been supportive which is helpful.  It's tough for him too (I think) but of course he's coping well.  At least, I haven't seen him shed any tears yet.  I, on the other hand, cannot stop crying.  My baby was crying when I left him this morning.  It's so hard to leave my child with a stranger (or anyone) especially while he's crying.  But I didn't think it would have been any better if I stayed longer.  He would have just cried when he saw me walking out the door.  I called her back an hour later and she said that he took a short nap then woke up fussing.  What?  That is so unlike my happy baby.  This is so hard.

I have to keep reminding myself that I'm doing what's best for my family.  Although, I would love to stay home with him that is not what is best for our family.  I have a career.  Hubby and I have educational debts to pay off.  It's also helpful for him to be able to socialize with other kids.  I think his development will sky-rocket from being with the older kids (18 month old girl and 3 year old girl).

This is a unique week for me (as far as my work schedule) but it works out great.  The set up this week is great for transitioning.  I'm off today so I dropped him off a little later and I will pick him up earlier so it's not the full day.  I'm also off tomorrow so I'll let him stay a little longer tomorrow.  Wednesday is a full day.  Thursday and Friday are also shorter days for me.  We'll see how it goes.

I guess I just have to love on my baby a lot more when I pick him up.  Although, I don't know if that's possible because I already do that.  Anyway, I think I'll go hit the gym (first time since his birth).  Exercise has always been a good distraction for me.  So is shopping and cleaning but I don't feel like doing either right now.

I'll update you on how his first day ended.  I welcome any tips, words of encouragement, prayers :)

Mrs. K


  1. Awww...he'll be OK. I think you're making a good transition. Kids adapt much faster than adults. I know I'll likely feel like you in a few months since we don't really have family close by that can watch our little girl when its time to go back to work. I pray that I can cope with it.

    Hang in there. I hear it gets easier.

  2. I promise he will probably adjust. It usually takes about 2 weeks for kids to adjust to daycare, although he is at a tricky age. He's old enough to know you are leaving but not old enough to understand you will come back yet. Just be consistent and take him everyday that you can so he gets into a routine. I know it's hard! If the workers love on him and are sweet he will get better. He may still cry every morning but it will be short lived and he will most likely stop within a few minutes of you leaving once he adjusts. Hope these tips from the "inside" of daycare life help!! I get to see how kids act once the parents leave and 99% of them are fine!! I promise!

  3. I can only imagine how hard it must be. I too would rather stay home if I had a baby but wouldn't be able to. In a perfect world? Everyone could be a stay at home mom if they wanted to or we would at least get longer maternity like they get in Europe. Hang in there! It will get better.

  4. It's always so difficult to leave your first child in the care of a stranger. I remember I cried and cried and cried. All you can really do is pray about it and he will be fine. I will say prayers for you too. Soon he will get adjusted and everything will be fine. It just takes a little time.

  5. Thank you ladies for all your encouragement.
    TTW: Hopefully it wont be as tough for you. Congrats on the pregnancy
    D: What you wrote was very helpful because I know you are the expert. I've learned a lot over the past few months about sticking to a routine so I will definitely do that with daycare too (although it'll be tempting on the days I have off).
    CeCe: I'm all for longer maternity leave instead (like a year). But then it would probably be even harder to leave him after a year of being home together. LOL. I guess it's just a part of life (for us at least). :)
    Keya: I appreciate your prayers. It sounds like it gets easier after the first one, maybe?

  6. I can so relate. after three yrs home with my son, daycare was harder for me than it was for him. Liam turned out to be quite the social caterpillar.

    Love Lisa x

  7. Aww! I've heard that the end of maternity leave and returning to work are one of the hardest times for a mom. But you're doing what's best for your family... hugs :)

  8. It's always so hard to leave your child to a complete stranger for the first time. More importantly it's so normal for you to have these feelings. All I can tell you is that it gets better, they adjust more than you can thing. I hope this transition is smooth for you.

  9. I don't have kids yet, so I don't know what that feels like but I will be praying for you!!


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