I'm thinking about babies

I remember when I was younger and first realized there were differences between races.  After this new found knowledge I decided that I wanted to adopt a child from every race.  I know I'm not the only one who felt this way, am I?

Anyway, after telling this to my mother she supported me but let me know that this was very expensive to do so I better study/work hard so I can make money in the future to accomplish this.  Mothers, I tell ya.  They use every opportunity to promote studying and working. 

So I wanted to revisit something I said earlier--"realized there were differences between races."  I actually remember when I first found this out.  Before I get into that, I will give you a some background information about me.

I was born in Jamaica where the majority of the people were black or "mixed up" so I did not pay attention to race.  Rather, I didn't even know it existed.  I believe this was commonplace for most Jamaicans.  Although Jamaica has mainly black people, I grew up with Chinese, Indians, Lebanese, Irish, etc. friends.   It was interesting because we all went to school together and race never came up.  The main differences that were pointed out were: who was the fastest runner, the smartest, the most fun, etc.  You get what I mean?

When I moved to NY at around age 11, I remember meeting an Italian girl in my class (she was also my cousin's friend).  Her and my cousin were both educating me about race and prejudice (since I hadn't heard the words before).  After she described to me what it was I asked her if she was prejudice.  I remember her smiling and saying "no silly, if I was we wouldn't be friends."  I remember still being puzzled but as time went on (and with experience) I started grasping what she was talking about.

At that age the more I understood the more I wanted to adopt a child from every race.  I think I was serious about this for a few years--being naive about cost and everything else.  I think I wanted to do that in hopes of bringing everyone together to show that people can co-exist thrive together despite their differences.

Now that I am a little older and a little less naive, I understand that it is almost impossible to do what I proposed above.  However I have discovered other ways for me to show that people can thrive together despite their differences, especially race.

My husband and I may not be able to afford to raise the United Nations but we can show love to others who are different from us.  My idea above is not completely out of my mind because if we strike it rich you may just hear about us in the news--The Crazy Family with 50 Kids from Different Nations.

OK, so 50 is an exaggeration.  Anyway, you may ask what does this post have to do with my title "I'm thinking about babies."  It's quite related actually.  I have been thinking about babies and family planning more lately.  I've been thinking about how many children we want to have? What will our kids look like?  Will they have my personality or my husband's or be completely different from us? How long will I stay home with them?  What kind of parent I would be?

Will all this thinking I guess I was reminded about my childhood wish to be a mother of all nations :)

Mrs. K

We are big green monsters from a different planet

Looking funny is a tough thing to deal with in today's world.  If you don't look like everyone else you are out of luck.  What's even more challenging is being an interracial couple.  If you think funny looking people get all the crazy stares, think again.  Mixed couples and families get them too.  I have been the lady half of a mixed couple for the past 10 years and I can tell you, it has been interesting.

Of course to hubby and I, we just love each other, have a lot in common, and communicate pretty well with each other.  These are some things that are important in any relationship.  To some people, we are like big green monsters walking around with like a large yellow eyeball and wearing bright red lipstick.  We can't blend in or go in disguise.

Big green monster with yellow eye ball minus bright red lipstick

What alerted me to write this post was two recent consecutive visits to Sam's Club.  Note that I am not upset while writing this, I am just noting my thoughts and reactions.  I'm not angry, I actually think it's quite interesting and somewhat funny.

So, we live in one of the southern states in the US (not that the reaction would be much different in the northern states).  We visited Sam's Club about a week ago so we can stack up on some goods, since I detest food shopping.  With all the stares that we got, you would have thought we were some famous celebrity (like Dolly Parton--lol), or rather two strange creatures from a different planet (like the green monsters mentioned above). 

We got stares from the "normal" looking folks and other funny looking people.  I thought it was particularly hilarious when a dwarf looking person (no offense) and his very tall wife of the same race was staring.  It's so funny because we were staring at them too.  I bet they were probably saying, "well heck, we look normal compared to them."  And trust me, we were saying the same thing.

I know that people stare for various reasons including: curiosity, to give approval/disapproval, to intimidate, or to find a defect in either of us.  I'm sure there are other reasons too that I did not mention.  Regardless of the reason, I think staring is kind of rude but as I said, I do it too.  I guess I try to do it in a more subtle way.  Most of the time we don't notice the stares unless it's very obvious. 

I usually respond by either staring back or exchanging a friendly smile (usually while waving).  I must confess that when the person is obviously rude, I do "unleash the beast" (as I mentioned before in my "about me" section).  My husband usually is very positive about the situation--he smiles boyishly and says, "honey we are superstars."  Every time he says this I laugh my butt off, because I know he really feels that way.  LOL.

I am not complaining because I know that things could be worse.  We could have been born a few years before and it would have been illegal for us to be married in our state.  Also, I know that this is a choice that we both made and we are both very happy with.  I just thought I would post about it since it's fresh on my mind. 

So what are your experiences? As an interracial couple/family, do you get stares?  How do you respond to the stares?  If you are not in a mixed family, do you stare?  If so, why?  I'm curious. 

Mrs. K