Wednesday, September 29, 2010

I'm thinking about babies

I remember when I was younger and first realized there were differences between races.  After this new found knowledge I decided that I wanted to adopt a child from every race.  I know I'm not the only one who felt this way, am I?

Anyway, after telling this to my mother she supported me but let me know that this was very expensive to do so I better study/work hard so I can make money in the future to accomplish this.  Mothers, I tell ya.  They use every opportunity to promote studying and working. 

So I wanted to revisit something I said earlier--"realized there were differences between races."  I actually remember when I first found this out.  Before I get into that, I will give you a some background information about me.

I was born in Jamaica where the majority of the people were black or "mixed up" so I did not pay attention to race.  Rather, I didn't even know it existed.  I believe this was commonplace for most Jamaicans.  Although Jamaica has mainly black people, I grew up with Chinese, Indians, Lebanese, Irish, etc. friends.   It was interesting because we all went to school together and race never came up.  The main differences that were pointed out were: who was the fastest runner, the smartest, the most fun, etc.  You get what I mean?

When I moved to NY at around age 11, I remember meeting an Italian girl in my class (she was also my cousin's friend).  Her and my cousin were both educating me about race and prejudice (since I hadn't heard the words before).  After she described to me what it was I asked her if she was prejudice.  I remember her smiling and saying "no silly, if I was we wouldn't be friends."  I remember still being puzzled but as time went on (and with experience) I started grasping what she was talking about.

At that age the more I understood the more I wanted to adopt a child from every race.  I think I was serious about this for a few years--being naive about cost and everything else.  I think I wanted to do that in hopes of bringing everyone together to show that people can co-exist thrive together despite their differences.

Now that I am a little older and a little less naive, I understand that it is almost impossible to do what I proposed above.  However I have discovered other ways for me to show that people can thrive together despite their differences, especially race.

My husband and I may not be able to afford to raise the United Nations but we can show love to others who are different from us.  My idea above is not completely out of my mind because if we strike it rich you may just hear about us in the news--The Crazy Family with 50 Kids from Different Nations.

OK, so 50 is an exaggeration.  Anyway, you may ask what does this post have to do with my title "I'm thinking about babies."  It's quite related actually.  I have been thinking about babies and family planning more lately.  I've been thinking about how many children we want to have? What will our kids look like?  Will they have my personality or my husband's or be completely different from us? How long will I stay home with them?  What kind of parent I would be?

Will all this thinking I guess I was reminded about my childhood wish to be a mother of all nations :)

Mrs. K


  1. Sad that America is so race obsessed :( I shared the same ideals as you when I was younger. My children are all of mixed race, and my eldest so it's a lil UN up in here ;) Good luck planning your family's future!

  2. I remember wanting a child of every race too. Kids turn out all sorts of way. My oldest looks like me but has my husbands personality. My youngest looks like my husband and hopefully will have my personality. Can't wait to see your children.

  3. i use to say that all the time too! hahaha.

    growing up my parents were always surprised about stories we use to tell them about school. they grew up in Ghana so race was not something they discussed. it is sad that it is the way it is in America.

  4. Nice entry. I am from a multi-racial country where Malay, Chinese & Indians are our 3 main races. Other than these three, we have lots of other minorities too. Like you, I missed how it used to be. That, we can't see the difference of skin colour except for who runs fastest, who laugh loudest and etc... Unfortunately, of late, due to fighting for political power, they propagandized racism which does make a changes to how we used to feel. Sad.

    Anyway, wish you luck in your family planning. Like you, am heading towards that direction too. Am thinking of babies and at the same time, also of the things that I would have to forgo with those commitments. Sigh... decision... decision.

  5. Wow, I am not alone. I too, have thought about raising an international family. I remember when Angelina Jolie started getting press for adopting all those children and I thought, she did what I wanted to do. I plan to start trying to have children very soon, like as soon as I'm married. I also think about if I will stay home or not and what my parenting style will be like. Great post!

  6. Me too! Wow. If this is something that so many dreamed of doing, we should all do it! My parents have adopted 8 children so far. No, I don't know how they do it. I know they make a lot of sacrifices, when it comes to spending. And time. And space. :) As soon as my husband is done with his education, I'm going to bring up the subject again. If every family adopted just one child, would there even be any orphans? And I think it would be AWESOME if you two struck it rich! I hope you do. If y'all become The Crazy Family with 50 Kids from Different Nations, I'll be your #1 fan! :)

  7. I can relate to the post so much. I moved to italy when I was little and until then I did not know I was black. I knew some people were people but I never thought about race that until my move to Italy.

    At present, as an interracial couple I never questioned what other people thought about me dating a white man until I moved to London and some people started to ask me what my family thought about me dating a white man. My family never questioned his race but more his honesty. But people asking questions like "what you mother said when you took a white man home?..." make me wonder if they look at us and ask themselves what we are together for. I consider my Hubby to be first and foremost my man and my love and I did not thought about his race (does that make me a bad person). I was in love and never felt in love due to his race...

    I could go on and on, but yes thinking about babies make me question if the world will still be so race obsessed when they are old, my dream heart says things will be better (something that the same heart told me 13 year ago before I met my husband and felt in love). I will teach them to love and cherish people not based on colour but based on their good heart.

    On the other hand my dream would be building a school and workshop place for street children. I really hope to do that.

    Lovely post, I hope you can join in next week for Thoughtful Wednesday post blog hop on my blog.

  8. I REALLY loved this post for very close and personal reasons! I had the same types of questions when I was pregnant. Who is going to look like, WHAT color will he be, will he have my personality? He is the absolute beautiful mix of the both of us. We see no color. We see love!

  9. I loved reading all the comments on this post! I see people loving who they want regardless of what family, friends or strangers may think or say. I too dreamed of adopting when I was little. Even now that I have a biological child, I still want to provide a family for a little one in need of one. Hopefully I can make that a reality in the next few years.

  10. Thanks for all the thoughtful comments. It's good to know that there are other ladies who share similar thoughts and ideas.
    Sommer--LOL at your little UN. So funny.
    Faith--I have so many other friends who say the same thing too. When I first moved to America I had the thickest Jamaican accent and I spent years covering it up when I was in school because I was picked on for being different. Silly me :)
    RedBabe--I pray that things will become better in your country and best of luck with your family planning as well.
    Monique--Good luck with your family planning too--so exciting!
    Jamie--your parents are the coolest ever (don't tell my parents I said that). What a blessing for them to have opened up their hearts to same many children. I'm sure there is never a dull day.
    MsBabyPlan--I appreciate your thoughts. It is my hope too that things will be better for our children in the future (not just race). Also, I don't know how to do the blog hop thingy--I'll try to figure it out.
    Rhonda--that's awesome. I guess there's hope :) Just kiddin'
    Teresha: I agree. These posts were so thoughtful.

  11. I wonder that same thing sometimes. I hope all my kids look like my wife. All I ask is they have my last name, thats about it. My wife and I always said if God does not desire for us to kids of our own, we would adopt. From where though? China? Ethiopia? Guatemala? India? They are all beautiful in some form or fashion. Finally, if you do decide to adopt 50 kids, let me know where you live, I will know to put myself at least 300-400 miles away. No baby-sitting for us :-). Just kidding.

  12. Paul--you are too funny. I guess me and Mr. K better move soon. LOL. You know that even when we move we will still be soliciting you for babysitting services.


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