Monday, January 3, 2011

Vultures at the gym




Picture credit: This is the gym I used to go to
I've switched up my workout routine partly because of vultures at the gym.  I know that sounds harsh but it's true.  I was going to the gym at 5 or 6am in the morning on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays.  It's a 24 hour gym and I'm usually the only female there that early in the morning.  It was okay at first but the male crowd kept growing and  I started feeling like I was completely overthrown. 

I usually try to mind my own business and try not to make eye contact with any of the guys.  This seems mean but I do it because I would NEVER want to give the wrong impression that I'm remotely interested.  I would rather give the impression that I'm a meanie so "don't mess with me" (even though I'm usually a friendly person).  I don't want to give the wrong signal so I put on a serious face, put in my head phones and keep my head down while I work out. 

Well... some guys didn't get the message and still wanted to be "friendly."  I don't think it's cool being "friendly" with some random guy at the gym given the fact that I'M A HAPPILY MARRIED WOMAN and I'm a little paranoid about being attacked.  I wore my ring every time I went and the guys still asked me if I was married.  I usually flash my ring and say I've been happily taken for ten years.  {I've been taken for 10 years but married for 2}. 

Anyway, I get back to my routine and they usually still persist.  By this time I'm thinking "ARE YOU KIDDING ME--do you not have any respect for the sanctity of marriage?"  I would feel myself getting more angry but knowing that I can't physically take on one of these guys I resisted the urge to yell.  Especially since the gym is not in one of the best neighborhoods.  Instead I would say something sarcastic with a smile on my face.  By the way, sarcasm is an art that I've been practicing lately (although I'm still an apprentice at it). 

I will give you an example--one of the guys (a cop) asked me if I was married.  I did my usual routine and of course he was persistent.  I told him I was happily married and asked him if he was.  He said yes (shamefully, with head down) and I smiled and said "that's great, I wish you guys all the best--maybe you should take her to the gym with you some time."  He left me alone after that.

I didn't want to be doing this every time I go to the gym.  First of all, I don't like being mean and snappy.  Secondly, I already dislike getting up that early anyway and to have my workouts interrupted by some vultures made it worse.  Therefore, I'm no longer going to the gym (although we are still paying members)--at least for now.  I have been doing workout videos from home.  I find that this has been working well for me so far anyway.

I agree that I'm being avoidant but that's the best way I know how to handle the issue.  This is the way I deal with it without becoming angry or getting worked up 3 mornings out of the week.  One of my goal is to eliminate negative situations I encounter in life or to adjust to the ones I can't change.  This is one I can eliminate!

And besides now I don't have to freak out about showering in the gym when there are tons of guys close by.  You have no idea how paranoid I was about that and what drastic measures I took to try to ensure some safety.  I hate being so paranoid but I'm a girl and I have to protect myself.

What do you think?  Would you handle it differently?  I know that you have encountered similar situations, especially if you go to the gym, so how do you deal with these vultures?


Mrs. K

19 comments:

  1. my way of dealing with the vultures is also working out in the morning. i am not getting up that early but early enough! i am still getting used to it! i find that the vultures talk too much in the evening! my pet peeves...the ones that speak on the phone while working out...seriously?! seriously?!

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  2. the gym i go to now is full of old people. so serious. we even have a dress code we have to follow so one one even tries to hit on anyone. everyone looks a hot mess, lol.

    at my old gym, i just dealt with it. i really wanted to work out at my gym and i couldn't not go because guys didn't get the message. if anyone ever talked to me, i would be kind but short. if you are short most intelligent people know you aren't interested. always worked for me.

    sucks that you can't go to your gym that you pay for. that pisses me off!

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  3. New to your blog - it's so cute! I love your writing style - your personality really shines!

    Oh the gym days! I used to work at a gym [right out of HS] - and geeze...I know what you're talking about. The place was a meat market. So annoying when you're trying to work out and you feel that the space you are doing it in isn't a comfortable one : /

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  4. K, That sucks that you had to stop going to the gym because of the "vultures". I used to go to Lucille Roberts which is all women and now I go to the local Y which is a good mix of old people, teenagers, middle aged and 20-30 somethings. I think you are on a great path towards self preservation by avoiding negativity. I think you made the right decision in leaving since it's not a great neighborhood and you don't feel safe. You should definitely workout in an environment where you can take a shower and not worry. Keep up the home workouts and good luck finding a better gym.

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  5. I don't know I've never being approached by the vultures. I used to go the gym my husband so they stay far from me, eheheeh!

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  6. Blimey Mrs K, you go to the gym at 5am in the morning?! That is serious stuff! I don't think I have ever seen 5am. I would find a better gym if I was you, it's not on having to deal with that hassle.

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  7. P.S. I forgot - Happy new year to you!

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  8. Girl, it doesn't matter where you are people will be disrespectful. BUT I understand you feeling worried about your personal safety and annoying dudes all over you at the gym. You wear less, and being the minority of the sex, I'd feel worried, too! Hopefully after people forget about their New Year's resolutions, the gym will be quiet again and you'll feel safer. I'll have to check your workouts, I want to buy some videos as well!! Best of luck with staying fit!

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  9. I understand it and I encounter it when I go to my local Bally's. I simply ignore and if that doesn't work, I make a smart ass comment. Fearing for your personal safety is something different. Have you thought of talking to the gym management? Not trying to offend or be funny but I'm curious - are you a nervous type in general? I mean is it just the presence of large groups of men that make you nervous/fearful or is there something specifically unnerving about the men at the gym?

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  10. lol, wear a size or two larger gym clothes or simply transfer your membership or FIND ANOTHER GYM. Good Luck.

    kai

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  11. Ugh. that's so annoying!! I do the "i can't hear you" thing with my headphones in. Then thoroughly avoid eye contact after. That works for me.

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  12. Thanks for dropping by and leaving your comments.
    Steve: I will drop by soon.

    Ms. Pancakes: I was working out in am and still had problems. LOL at those working out on the cell phone. I find it pretty funny. Ha!

    Faith: I love that there's a dress code--too funny. My gym has a bunch of young people, some even younger than me. I do look a hot mess too but these guys don't care. Half the time I have my head tie on to protect my hair.

    Monique: thanks for your positive motivating comments.

    Ms. Baby Plan: when my husband went with me (rare since he goes to work a lot earlier than I do) they stayed away also. Hehe!

    Annie: I've found the Insanity workout videos so I've taken a break from the gym for now.

    Sommer: Thanks. Check out the Insanity and P90X videos. They are awesome.

    Mrs.TDJ: It's one of those 24 hr gym and with a worker only from 8-5pm. Ha! I was not offended at all by your comment. It's pretty interesting actually. Actually I grew up with mostly guys and was kind of a "tomboy" when I was younger so guys don't scare me (in general--lol). I think part of it is that I'm the only female and these guys are so persistent and obnoxious. I don't know. Ummm...I don't consider myself a nervous person--maybe a little bit when I have to give a speech or something in front of a crowd (which is normal).
    Anonymous: Too funny. Maybe I'll try that next time. Working out at home now so I can where whatever I want.
    Tee: Haha!
    Dani: Yup. I can't wait until it warms up so I can running outside again.

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  13. Girl you are dedicated going at 5 in the morning, that is awesome. That interaction with the cop was the funniest. He said yes with his head down. Poor fool, thought he might get lucky. Great job of setting him straight Mrs. K!! Loved this post.

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  14. Ugh. Some guys just don't get it. In a perfect world they would notice that lovely rock on your finger and leave you in peace, but unfortunately some guys (married and unmarried) don't believe in the sanctity of marriage :-( Is there any way you can go to one of those all women gyms? Or a gym that has mostly old folks?

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  15. Wow. That's just awful. Go talk to the manager and tell them what's going on and that if something doesn't change they'll be losing your business. That's just wrong.

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  16. Vultures. Nicely termed. Lols. I got tired of feeling intimidated. One day, I just sat at the juice bar and ogles at them working out their tight butts. :p

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  17. I felt this exact same way at an LA Fitness gym and I responded by trying to ignore them, but it got to the point where I just didn't want the hassle anymore. Now I've changed gyms and things are much better! ~ Maureen

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